I had a thought today. Today was a day of many thoughts, most of them unpleasant. Kind of a day for reliving old hells. But...I was pulled out of that by someone who always knows just when to call. ^^ And everything's better now.

That said...there is a lesson that I have learned. It's that when you focus on doing everything right...and on being perfect for everybody...well, ultimately you just end up doing everything wrong. The only sure way to succeed is to pick one thing - one thing - that one thing you can't live without, and focus in on it, like it's your heartbeat. And hold it close to you like it's your heart.

So...yes, I was an idiot before. But...I have come to terms with that. It is not a feeling, or a guilt that's going to disappear anytime soon...probably not for the rest of my life. But...I have learned from it. And I am better for having learned from it. And I have become stronger by acknowledging and understanding my own weakness.

To quote a certain Bat: "Why do we fall? To learn to pick ourselves back up."

Now...that said...today was a damned good day, after I got out from under my cloud of gloom. I went to see the Star Trek movie, and I strongly recommend it, if only for all of the inside jokes, references, and godly starship battles.

Cripes...if the Enterprise'd had that many phasers when it took on the Reliant, I think the least of Khan's worries would have been getting her prefix codes. The Enterprise is indeed the classic, vintage lady of the stars that we all remember...but, hot damn, that old lady carries a BIG brick in her purse.

But...good grief, crack pairing! I'm not going to spoil it...but...wow. Was NOT expecting. At all. And it wasn't even under the influence of some crazy space virus! ("The Naked Time", TOS) Just...wow.

So...yes, I also have started collecting transformers again. DON'T LAUGH AT ME. XD You're just jealous. ^^

They were on sale. I got a $40 concorde that transforms into a HUGE robot for $20. And...um...yeah, I have one on order from Ebay...but I also later Dinobot on for $8. DINOBOT! I'd been through Wal-Mart, Toys 'R' Us, and Zellers, and, damn, there was NOTHING until today - that's why I went to Ebay in the first place - but today, they were EVERYWHERE! XD So...yes, I have two of my favorite original Beast Wars Maximals, in new, shiny, revamped form. If they'd had THIS Silverbolt in Beast Wars...good God, the Predacons wouldn't have lasted to Code of Hero. And I'm sure dear Dinobot wouldn't have complained about that.

I think Fate was trying to cut me a little slack. It's much appreciated, Fatey. (The fact that I just used such a lame nickname on her means she's probably going to drop a truck on me now.)

But...yes, I was kind of miserable earlier today, thinking about old failures. There is an old saying, though. "No matter a man's past, his future is spotless." And...yeah, I screwed up. But I've learned. And I'll never, ever make the same mistake again. As long as I remember what's important. As long as I remember what really matters.

And, believe you me, ladies and germs, I know what really matters. ^^ I think I've known all along.